The other day I was telling my sister that I felt like I wasn’t making much of an impact in New York. The thing with this city is that it can puff a light out in a very short amount of time. There are sooooo many opportunities to serve others and just be different and I have to admit that I have not taken every opportunity that has passed my way. So I mentioned to Kath that I was concerned that I was not being a bright light in this dark city. I have struggled with finding a church that I can get excited about so sometimes I feel like I am just going through the motions at church.
Kath assured me that sometimes it isn’t what you say that makes an impact but just how you act. Yeah, Yeah… so later that day, I decided to stop in at Starbuck’s. I sat at the counter by the window and just reflected on life when a girl walked over and said, “can you tell me where the Guggenheim museum is?” (People ask for directions on a daily basis so it isnt weird for a stanger to walk over and ask) “Yes, walk out this door and turn left. Go down to 5th Ave but I am not sure what the side street is, I think it is 88th or 89th.” “Great, Thanks!” Me: “Sure no problem”. Concerned that I may ave given her the wrong side street, I turn to the older woman sitting next to me and ask which side street the museum is on. So, back to my deep thougths when an older woman next to me asks what I am drinking because it “looks good”. I explain the drink and then she says, “I am a psychiatrist and I have no idea why I am dumping all of this on you but I have to tell someone”. I begin to realize that something is weighing heavy on her heart (her husband had just stepped outside to make a phone call). “My brother just died, he just died and my family is a mess.” All I can say is “I am so sorry for your loss” She then tells me that she has been so confused and has felt alone during this time because she can’t count on her family.
“I am so sorry that your family is not coming together and that you have to deal with this on your own.” She again explains that she has no idea why she is sharing all of this with me. Just then her husband comes back in and she explains that she has just dumped her burdens on me. “Maybe I should do that too,” her husband jokingly mentions. They then proceed to introduce themselves to me. Barabara and Hirim begin to gather their things and I say, “I will be thinking of you this week”. Barbara stops, looks at me and says, “that is honestly the only comforting thing that anyone has said to me since all of this has happened. Not even my friends have said anything like that.” By this point Barbara leans over and gives me a hug. At this point I am practically crying because I feel so bad for their loss.
They gather their things and leave. “Okay, God I get it!”